I'll tell you the secret to the perfect Christmas gift. I really shouldn't be revealing this, as the other men in the club will probably lynch me in the parking lot for sharing this with you. The truth is men don't want you to know the Secret of the Perfect Gift. That way we can spend our money all year on what we really want, while you feel guilty that you can never find the perfect birthday, anniversary or Christmas gift. Women feel disappointed that they can never please their man, and want to express their love for you with a personal tangible item. Men's taste is an enigma that cannot be understood by those of the female persuasion. We want you to be in the dark, oblivious, wearing your guilt around your shoulders like a familiar designer scarf: that way we can ride the Guilt Train all year and buy the things we really want.
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